very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
