You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
