when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
