Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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