Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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