I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
