You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
