Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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