what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
