who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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