I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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