If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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