yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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