I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
