so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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