I think i peed on brittanys purse
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
