i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
