Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
