I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
