so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
