So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
