So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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