i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
