Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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