he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
