Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
