Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
