I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
