is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
