This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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