i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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