omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I fill condoms, not promises.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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