Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
