i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
