Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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