He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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