Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
please come you make the beer taste better
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The beer is more important than you right now.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
