failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
