Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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