Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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