Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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