if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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