Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
