actually, I'm a sock model
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
