things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
