WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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