who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
