the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
