I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
