i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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