Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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