Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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