Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
