I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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