So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
