Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize