none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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