i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
