you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
