I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
