He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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