My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
