I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm passing your future prison.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
